I have always asked myself for all my life. Am i Gypsy? I am living in a Gypsy neighbourhood. My mother, my father, my grandfather, my grandmother, all my ancestors are Gypsy. I could speak Gypsy language even not very well. So i am a Gypsy.
What is my difference from Gadje? Even i have a litter bit darker skin, there are too many people with darker skin among Gadje. I speak Turkish, i write Turkish. I am using Turkish better than many others. I am poor. I am poor. I am living in slum unwillingly. Is it shameful for me that my mothers skirt is a little bit colourful and i have different way of dressing? Why they condemn us as if their ancestors wear black tie in the villages of Anatolia?
We speak louder in homes, streets and bazaar. This is why we have nothing to hide from others... Do they think we have no problem when they see us smiling? Why they don't think the biggest aim of us to bring bread our homes and we are trying to be happy in our small world. Life is never only white and black, there are always different colours. Why they don't accept us as how we are! Why should i feel humiliated to say i am Gypsy? Why should be afraid speaking Gypsy language?
Why they stigmatize me as irreligious? Why they belive us not suitable to be muslim? Don't they know Islam is a religion which was sent to all kind of humanity. Don't they know all humankinds are equall. Superiority is only arise from Takva (a islamic word for ethic). Whatever they say, we are muslims, we believe in God. We like things created beacuse of the creator.
Yes, i am a Gypsy. They make me feel this when i went out from my neighbourhood. They are looking for a reason to ridicule me. They like to say Gypsy me as a cussword. They want me keep away from themselves. I am overwhelmed by these behaoviours. I am getting more and more alone. I am holding on the life with supports of my friends. I have too many friends and the others discriminating me are only minority for me.
My father, my grandfather lived with these contusion and exclusion. They didn't want to speak Gypsy language beside us. They believe that if we don't speak Gypsy language, we will throw off being Gypsy. When we started to work on tobacco farms, we had to learn some words from Gypsy language. We needed to hide something from landowner while we were working. We used some words from Gypsy language with this aim. While we were directed with words; like Pitordo, Muk, Poqani poqani, çar kobor,Tordo, Baro avola, Boşon, Niklo,Tovol, Akati, Ca, Maca, Vakır, Mavakır, Pani an, Çor gabon, Naş; by our parents, we were also learning Gypsy language.
It was not a problem to be Gypsy in our neighbourhood. Everybody used to respect eachother. Elders were judge for some disagreement. We were happy. Poverty was the only worry of us. We didn't feel ourselves different from Gadje in our neighbourhood until we went out of our neighbourhood. Timid and frightened eyes of children beside scoffer, injurious eyes of adults made us foreigner to the city outside of our neighbourhood. We were really annoyed. We didn't used to go out of our neighbourhood if we were not obliged. However, school and work were out of the neighbourhood. We were going together to school because timit and frightened eyes of other children were turning to hatred and relentless revilements. Revilements starting with the word "Gypsy" were putting in prison us in our neighbourhood. Many of us gived up school because of these revilements.
When you start the life as Gypsy you have to deal with so many pressure. It is very hard to live being aware of the situation that if you do good things it reflects only you but if you do something bad then all of the neighbourhood and all Gypsies would all blamed with this incident. You always have to be good and strong. You have to have a big heart to be able survive as Gypsy... Maybe you won't be able to deal with any of these problems and will leave your friends, move into another neighbourhood where residents don't know you are a Gypsy and deny your identity. You will still be upset in all the conversation about Gypsies, your face will get red but you won't defend your identity.
Have you ever imagined living this life as a Gypsy ? Please, try. Introduce yourself as Gypsy to the people that you meet for the first time. You will see how big walls are put up in front of you. It is easy to talk without living it. "Why don't you go to school ?" or "Why don't you send them to school ?" easy to ask. As it is easy to get over the psychological and sociological trauma caused by discrimination and crush. Taking a person who had to have naif goals in life out of the circle is not easy.
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We're getting hopeful about Government's Roma Activities. Our president earns our respect. Goverment want to change our disadvantaged situation. Solutions should be academic. Academics have to listen us and make psychological and sociological policies about our problems.
I am a Turkish citizen just as the others. I love my country and my nation. I want to be usefull for my country and people. I do all my duties for my country with love. I am a human being. I am a good citizen. Being a Gypsy in my country would only sublimate me. Gypsies are the people who gets the best love and mercy from God. Despite to all discrimination, they still stand up to crime organizations... And i am proud of them. I love them.
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